week of life

About a month ago, I read about the Week of Life project on Shutter Sisters and knew I had to participate. The basic premise is that people all over the world document their lives with photographs for seven straight days. You can start any time and you can participate multiple times. At the end of the week, you post nine photos from each day.

I've had a blast looking at other people's weeks. I'm fascinated by every day life, especially of people whose lives are different from mine. You can check out the lives of people from Germany or Slovakia or Italy (in which pizza makes an appearance multiple times...what's not to love about that?)

I was excited about participating. Week of Life reminded me of my very own Slice of Life Tuesday, which I started as a way to force me to be creative and take photos even when I thought I didn't have any time. Week of Life would have me carrying my camera around every day all day for seven days straight. What a great way to get me in the habit of photographing everything I see.

So I chose the day I would start: Saturday, October 24. Little did I know that it was going to be the gloomiest, wettest, grayest week of the year. And little did I know that it would also be the week that I'd decide it was time to quit my job. I have to be honest. It was a difficult week. I was confused, I was unhappy at work, and I was dwelling on that happiness when I got home. I spent a lot of time on the couch in my pajamas, looking out at the dreary sky.

How, oh HOW was I supposed to take photographs in the midst of all of this? How, oh HOW was I supposed to take photographs of the things I enjoy most - color, light, joy (to name a few) - when I wasn't seeing a whole lot of that around me?

There was a split second when I considered postponing the photo project to a happier week. But then I decided this is the EXACT week I should be doing this. As I hemmed and hawed over what to do next in my life, I found a way to get out of my brain and to step outside of myself by picking up my camera. And every time I did, I found I could breathe easier, I could see more clearly, and before I knew it, there was a smile on my face.

That is the power of art. That is the power of doing what you love.

When I look at my Week of Life photos, I see a journey. I know what I was feeling on each day.

I'm particularly fond of Friday's photos. I knew that day that I would be giving notice on Monday. It was the first day it hadn't rained all week and I was finally able to get outside with my camera. It's almost like the color came back into my photos that day.

For anyone who says they don't have time for creativity and anyone who is having a particularly difficult week, I want to encourage you to try out this exercise. Take photos of your dishes. Take photos of your toes. Take photos of your dirty laundry. I promise you will start to see the world around you differently.

Please let me know if you decide to try this out. And if you share them on your blog or on Week of Life, please leave a link in the comments below.

*****

Some of my Week of Life photos are posted above. You can view the rest of them HERE. Most are straight-out-of-camera shots, another way to share the world just as I saw it.

my last day

 

Today is my last day at my job.

As this day approached, my mind kept wandering back to the phrase, "leap and the net will appear." When people make big changes in their lives, it's often said that they are taking a leap. And I suppose that's what I'm doing. But at a certain point, I stopped viewing it that way. I had to for my own sanity. Leaping makes me think of jumping off of cliffs or out of airplanes -- two things I have no interest in doing. I wanted to feel like my decision wouldn't result in a concussion or a twisted ankle. Instead, I wanted my decision to feel safe, exciting, and completely doable.

So today, when I hand over my badge, leave the building, and walk to my car, I will not be leaping. I will be taking a step. And each day that follows today, I will take a step. Sometimes it will be a big step, but more often than not, it will be a small step. And with each small step, I will get closer. To what? That is not for me to know right now. And that is a beautiful feeling.

I am leaving amidst questions of "what are you doing next?" and "you really don't have a job lined up?" But I do have a job lined up. It's the one I'm creating and crafting to suit my life, one step at a time.

slice of life tuesday: sometimes you just have to stop

Welcome to Slice of Life Tuesday! Every Tuesday, I post photos that I took the previous week and ask you to do the same. These photos are taken at ordinary moments. No fancy photo shoots. No fancy editing.The point is to make time for creativity in our daily lives just for the joy of it and without the burden of excuses. Even if you take one photo each week, you've done something for yourself.

Sometimes.

You just have to stop.

And put on your most sexy comfortable pajamas.

And sit on your couch.

And stare at your toes.

And eat ice cream.

And think about nothing.

Go ahead. Try it.

I give you permission.

where can we find happiness?

Where can we find happiness?
Happiness is not found in a tranquil life free of storms and tempests.
Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realize our goals,
in our efforts to move forward.

~ Daisaku Ikeda

what would i do if i were not afraid?

Has there ever been a time in your life when you knew your life was about to change?

Maybe it was a slow change like a pregnancy when you had a little time to prepare for it. Or maybe it was sudden change like a car accident or winning the lottery. Maybe it was something that you chose to change and maybe it felt like the change happened to you.

In any case, change happens. We can resist it, we can hide from it, but it's going to happen with or without our approval.

On Monday, I chose to make a change. A BIG change. I quit my job.

It feels strange to even write that. It's something I've been thinking about for a while, but have kept relatively quiet about it. At first, I thought the change was happening TO me and was out of my control. I was unhappy in my job and spent a lot of time saying, "If only I had more time, if only I didn't have to do X or that person didn't say Y or I was able to do more of Z." When you're not satisfied with a situation, the natural reaction is to point fingers and place blame. After several months (maybe even a year) of staying with my job even though I was not satisfied, I discovered the right reason to leave the job. It was not the fault of the job or the people I worked with or office politics. The reason I chose to leave my job was because I had outgrown it.

Quitting my job felt a little like a break-up. I almost wanted to say, "It's not you. It's me." It was bittersweet. It was not an easy decision. But it was the right decision for both of us.

So what am I going to do now? What am I going to do with my life?

I used to wince at this question. I was desperate to get to the bottom of it and figure out what would make me happy. Earlier this year, I had a realization that I didn't need to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. But I did know how I wanted my life to feel. I wanted to be creative every day. I wanted time to spend with my family. I wanted energy to take care of myself - cooking healthy meals, doing yoga, taking walks with my hubby. I wanted to feel relaxed, happy, balanced. At the time, I wasn't feeling any of those things.

I had been hearing the whispers from my creative spirit for quite some time, but wasn't sure what to do about it. So I waited. I didn't quit my job out of desperation. I waited. I didn't search for a new job to replace the old one. I waited. I didn't grasp for a creative outlet. I just waited. And when the whispers got louder and pointed me in a direction that made sense and felt good, I stopped waiting and I LEAPT. I leapt towards photography because it was the first time in years that I felt inspired to learn and the first thing in years that I spent hours doing without wanting to stop (sometimes forgetting to eat lunch). It was something I was making time for instead of complaining that I didn't have enough time for. It was something that cheered me up on difficult days. And it changed the way I look at the world. These were all key indications that I was on the right path.

Then I started saying YES to things that scared me because I knew that the fear was an indication of something that excited me. And the more I said YES, the more free I felt. The more "me" I felt. The more joy I felt. And the more doors opened.

When I started considering the idea of quitting my job - without another job lined up - I felt that same kind of fear. The exciting kind. The kind that is an indication that I was doing the right thing. The kind that makes so much sense despite all of the risks.

Minutes before I gave my boss two-weeks notice, I read the following question on Danielle LaPorte's blog:

"What would I do if I were not afraid?"

And I knew what I had to do.

It's only been a couple of days and it hasn't quite sunken in yet, but what I do feel is relief. I've felt like a balloon on the verge of popping for months and finally, I've let the air out. I'm also surprised and pleased with what's coming out of my mouth without hesitation as I tell my coworkers the news, one by one. They ask what I'm going to do next and I tell them that I am going to concentrate my energy on things I'm passionate about and that I'm starting a photography business. I'm also telling them that I don't really know what's next and that's okay. I've never felt MORE okay with not knowing what's going to happen next. It is freeing and exciting. Even more freeing is that I am being true to myself and following my heart wherever it leads me.

So am I nervous? Yes! Do I have doubts? Hell yes! But I am also full of a new energy that I haven't felt in years. I am ready to harness that energy, put it out into the world, and create the life I envision for myself.

But first I need a nap.

***

Jamie Ridler has a fabulous series on her blog called Wishcasting Wednesday. I thought it would be appropriate to share my wish today. This week's prompt is "What do you wish to experience?" And my answer: the freedom and confidence to follow my dreams.