where can we find happiness?

Where can we find happiness?
Happiness is not found in a tranquil life free of storms and tempests.
Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realize our goals,
in our efforts to move forward.

~ Daisaku Ikeda

what would i do if i were not afraid?

Has there ever been a time in your life when you knew your life was about to change?

Maybe it was a slow change like a pregnancy when you had a little time to prepare for it. Or maybe it was sudden change like a car accident or winning the lottery. Maybe it was something that you chose to change and maybe it felt like the change happened to you.

In any case, change happens. We can resist it, we can hide from it, but it's going to happen with or without our approval.

On Monday, I chose to make a change. A BIG change. I quit my job.

It feels strange to even write that. It's something I've been thinking about for a while, but have kept relatively quiet about it. At first, I thought the change was happening TO me and was out of my control. I was unhappy in my job and spent a lot of time saying, "If only I had more time, if only I didn't have to do X or that person didn't say Y or I was able to do more of Z." When you're not satisfied with a situation, the natural reaction is to point fingers and place blame. After several months (maybe even a year) of staying with my job even though I was not satisfied, I discovered the right reason to leave the job. It was not the fault of the job or the people I worked with or office politics. The reason I chose to leave my job was because I had outgrown it.

Quitting my job felt a little like a break-up. I almost wanted to say, "It's not you. It's me." It was bittersweet. It was not an easy decision. But it was the right decision for both of us.

So what am I going to do now? What am I going to do with my life?

I used to wince at this question. I was desperate to get to the bottom of it and figure out what would make me happy. Earlier this year, I had a realization that I didn't need to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. But I did know how I wanted my life to feel. I wanted to be creative every day. I wanted time to spend with my family. I wanted energy to take care of myself - cooking healthy meals, doing yoga, taking walks with my hubby. I wanted to feel relaxed, happy, balanced. At the time, I wasn't feeling any of those things.

I had been hearing the whispers from my creative spirit for quite some time, but wasn't sure what to do about it. So I waited. I didn't quit my job out of desperation. I waited. I didn't search for a new job to replace the old one. I waited. I didn't grasp for a creative outlet. I just waited. And when the whispers got louder and pointed me in a direction that made sense and felt good, I stopped waiting and I LEAPT. I leapt towards photography because it was the first time in years that I felt inspired to learn and the first thing in years that I spent hours doing without wanting to stop (sometimes forgetting to eat lunch). It was something I was making time for instead of complaining that I didn't have enough time for. It was something that cheered me up on difficult days. And it changed the way I look at the world. These were all key indications that I was on the right path.

Then I started saying YES to things that scared me because I knew that the fear was an indication of something that excited me. And the more I said YES, the more free I felt. The more "me" I felt. The more joy I felt. And the more doors opened.

When I started considering the idea of quitting my job - without another job lined up - I felt that same kind of fear. The exciting kind. The kind that is an indication that I was doing the right thing. The kind that makes so much sense despite all of the risks.

Minutes before I gave my boss two-weeks notice, I read the following question on Danielle LaPorte's blog:

"What would I do if I were not afraid?"

And I knew what I had to do.

It's only been a couple of days and it hasn't quite sunken in yet, but what I do feel is relief. I've felt like a balloon on the verge of popping for months and finally, I've let the air out. I'm also surprised and pleased with what's coming out of my mouth without hesitation as I tell my coworkers the news, one by one. They ask what I'm going to do next and I tell them that I am going to concentrate my energy on things I'm passionate about and that I'm starting a photography business. I'm also telling them that I don't really know what's next and that's okay. I've never felt MORE okay with not knowing what's going to happen next. It is freeing and exciting. Even more freeing is that I am being true to myself and following my heart wherever it leads me.

So am I nervous? Yes! Do I have doubts? Hell yes! But I am also full of a new energy that I haven't felt in years. I am ready to harness that energy, put it out into the world, and create the life I envision for myself.

But first I need a nap.

***

Jamie Ridler has a fabulous series on her blog called Wishcasting Wednesday. I thought it would be appropriate to share my wish today. This week's prompt is "What do you wish to experience?" And my answer: the freedom and confidence to follow my dreams.

when one thing ends another begins

change is in the air

i can see it in the leaves in the trees

i can feel it in the crisp, cool breeze

i feel it deep in my heart

i don't have to look too hard for it

change is right outside my front door

after all, that's where it likes to hang out

Big changes are in the air! But you'll have to wait until next week to hear the details. For now, please take a moment to stop by two of my favorite blogs. I was featured twice this week! Leah over at Leah Creates picked me for her Wonderbug Wednesday, a weekly post where she gives a little "shout out" to an artist or entrepreneur. Also, one of my fall photos was included in an eye candy post over at the wishstudio. See if you can figure out which photo is mine without peeking! (Thanks to my Twitter friend, Sara a.k.a. @SoulSpackle, for that fun idea!) Thanks to Mindy and Leah for including me on their blogs!

Have a lovely weekend, y'all!

there is more than one way to skin a cat

{{DISCLAIMER: No kittens were harmed in the writing of this post. I promise.}}

I've had a lot on my mind lately and am spending a lot of time figuring out where I belong. I'm strattling two different bloggy worlds at the moment - the world of encouraging women exploring life's challenges and triumphs and the world of photographers sharing the beauty of their every day lives through photographs. I keep asking where I fit in all of this. I am an artist and a dreamer and a writer and a photographer and an emotional mess and a joyful goof. How do I put it all together, tie it up in a nice little bow, and stamp it with ME? How do I pick just one thing when I have all of these other ideas up my sleeve? Or do I need to pick? Why do we feel like we need to be just ONE thing? How can I incorporate all of me into what I do and not be limited by my preconceived notions of who and what I am?

And then I was presented with an answer to all of my questions. Last week, my husband took me to the Earshot Jazz Festival to see the Matt Wilson Quartet. He told me that the leader of the band (a drummer) was wild and crazy, in the best way possible. It sounded like fun, so I went along.

I've been to a lot of jazz shows and I usually know what to expect, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. Matt Wilson uses anything and everything within reach to create music. Yes, he sits at a drum set, but he doesn't let that limit him. He watches and listens to his band mates and does whatever necessary in the moment to create the sound that would fill that moment perfectly. He breaks the rules in order to serve the music and support his band. It's almost as if he's being controlled by something outside of himself and yet, he is more present than any musician I've ever seen. The result is that he shares his journey. You don't know what's going to happen next, but you know that it's going to be magnificent and unexpected. And most important, it will be unique.

Yes, he is a drummer, but he doesn't let that title limit him. He is a musician and an innovator and an artist and a bit of a clown. He found a way to be who he is and you can tell he is having the time of his life.

The moral of the story, my friends, is that whether you are a musician, artist, photographer, writer, blogger, dancer, jump roper, or under-water basket weaver, there is more than one way to skin a cat. Use whatever is within you and around you to create. Do not limit yourself. Open your eyes, look around, and incorporate Your World and Your Self into everything you do. The guaranteed result: magic. And heck, you'll probably have more fun in the process.

Check out this video to see Matt Wilson at his goofiest. I hope it will inspire you to think outside the box.

slice of life tuesday: kind of blue

Welcome to Slice of Life Tuesday! Every Tuesday, I post photos that I took the previous week and ask you to do the same. These photos are taken at ordinary moments. No fancy photo shoots. No fancy editing.The point is to make time for creativity in our daily lives just for the joy of it and without the burden of excuses. So grab your camera and carry it with you around the house or while you're running errands and snap a photo of something that catches your eye. Who knows? That one photo may spark your creative spirit!

Yesterday, I mentioned that I was participating in a world-wide photo documentary project called Week of Life. I'm entering the fourth day and I have to tell you, this experience is fun. But after taking a ton of photos from my world (which include glamorous photos of my laundry, dirty dishes, and my cat), I thought it was time to get creative. I looked up from my couch and, camera in hand, walked straight to a little wooden buddha that sits next to our fireplace. I snapped a few shots, but wasn't satisfied. It was night time and a bit dark in the house. When I used my flash, I was disappointed with the cold tone cast on the little guy. Unfortunately, I don't own any fancy lighting equipment, but I wouldn't let that stop me! I whipped around in the hopes that something would appear - something that would help me make this photo cooler. I had just read somewhere about a fun trick to help soften the light from an on-camera flash that involved holding a beer bottle up in front of the flash. Alas, there was no beer in the house. But the next best thing was the blue glass sitting on my coffee table that held the water I'd been drinking. The following photos are the result of my little experiment...which reminds me of a little joke:

What do you get when you cross a glass of water, a camera, and the buddha?

So pick up that camera and a pretty glass and do some experimenting this week! You'd be amazed at how much fun you'll have when you think outside the box and allow your limitations to be an opportunity.

Happy snapping!