me, on my wedding day. photo by daniel sheehan.On January 1st of this year, I declared this the "Year of Me." I did not declare it out of selfishness. I declared it because it was necessary. I have never been one to make New Year's resolutions, but I knew that this year, something had to change. This was the year I was going to listen to my gut and find the things that made me happy. This was the year I was going to be fearless and try new things - just to see what would happen. This was the year I would make space in my life so that I could breathe. And that is just what I did.

A lot has happened in a short amount of time. And it was all a conscious choice.

Eleven and a half months ago, I declared this the "Year of Me." Eleven months ago, I got engaged, turning this into the "Year of We." Eight months ago, I took a watercolor class. Six months ago, I bought my beloved camera. Six months ago, I bought my beloved laptop. Six months ago, I started this blog. Four months ago, I started running. Eleven weeks ago, I got married. Eleven weeks ago, I fell in love with Paris. Ten weeks ago, I decided I would quit my job and pursue my passion for photography. Three weeks ago, I quit my job.

I've been writing this "Year of Me" post in my head for months, thinking that I would share it in December, when most people start reflecting on the past year. But I've had a lot of time to reflect lately. A week ago today was the first Monday in years that I didn't have to leave the house and go sit at a desk for eight hours. The very next day, I had my wisdom teeth removed. (Hmmm...there must be symbolism in there somewhere.) I have spent the past week healing (in more ways than one.) I have moved from the couch to the bed and back again more times than I can count. I have spent quality time with Oprah, my cat, and chocolate pudding. I haven't picked up a book or written a blog post in days.

I have stopped everything for the first time in years.

If you're anything like me, stopping is not easy. I'm so used to go-go-going and even when I have an excuse to do nothing (i.e. major dental surgery), I am making lists in my head of all of the things I should or could be doing. I had gone right into "poor me" mode when I realized that what I was experiencing was a gift. This is exactly what I asked for all those months ago (not the dental surgery, but the time to breathe.)

I think it will take a little more time for me to accept the new pace of my life and to fully grasp what has happened this year. What I have experienced is a metamorphosis. Life as I know it has changed, both externally and internally. And yes, sometimes it feels like a supernatural transformation aided in this change.

But I know that I did this. I chose this. I was cheered on by the most amazing husband, family, and friends. And for that, I will feel forever grateful.

Life is about experimenting. Life is a funky adventure! It's about making choices and seeing what happens next. As the "Year of Me" comes to a close and I make my way into the "Year of Me, Part 2" - I invite you to consider claiming next year the "Year of YOU"! If not for a whole year, maybe start with a week or a day. You deserve it.

For now, I have a few more choices to make to get me through the next few days and weeks:

I choose adventure and risk over playing it safe.

I choose to be okay with slowing down.

I choose to be okay with not knowing.

I choose gratitude.

I choose family.

I choose to laugh.

I choose to love.

I choose to breathe.

I choose to be.

What do you choose?

I've had a blast looking at other people's weeks. I'm fascinated by every day life, especially of people whose lives are different from mine. You can check out the lives of people from Germany or Slovakia or Italy (in which pizza makes an appearance multiple times...what's not to love about that?)

I was excited about participating. Week of Life reminded me of my very own Slice of Life Tuesday, which I started as a way to force me to be creative and take photos even when I thought I didn't have any time. Week of Life would have me carrying my camera around every day all day for seven days straight. What a great way to get me in the habit of photographing everything I see.

So I chose the day I would start: Saturday, October 24. Little did I know that it was going to be the gloomiest, wettest, grayest week of the year. And little did I know that it would also be the week that I'd decide it was time to quit my job. I have to be honest. It was a difficult week. I was confused, I was unhappy at work, and I was dwelling on that happiness when I got home. I spent a lot of time on the couch in my pajamas, looking out at the dreary sky.

How, oh HOW was I supposed to take photographs in the midst of all of this? How, oh HOW was I supposed to take photographs of the things I enjoy most - color, light, joy (to name a few) - when I wasn't seeing a whole lot of that around me?

There was a split second when I considered postponing the photo project to a happier week. But then I decided this is the EXACT week I should be doing this. As I hemmed and hawed over what to do next in my life, I found a way to get out of my brain and to step outside of myself by picking up my camera. And every time I did, I found I could breathe easier, I could see more clearly, and before I knew it, there was a smile on my face.

That is the power of art. That is the power of doing what you love.

When I look at my Week of Life photos, I see a journey. I know what I was feeling on each day.

I'm particularly fond of Friday's photos. I knew that day that I would be giving notice on Monday. It was the first day it hadn't rained all week and I was finally able to get outside with my camera. It's almost like the color came back into my photos that day.

For anyone who says they don't have time for creativity and anyone who is having a particularly difficult week, I want to encourage you to try out this exercise. Take photos of your dishes. Take photos of your toes. Take photos of your dirty laundry. I promise you will start to see the world around you differently.

Please let me know if you decide to try this out. And if you share them on your blog or on Week of Life, please leave a link in the comments below.

*****

Some of my Week of Life photos are posted above. You can view the rest of them HERE. Most are straight-out-of-camera shots, another way to share the world just as I saw it.

Today is my last day at my job.

As this day approached, my mind kept wandering back to the phrase, "leap and the net will appear." When people make big changes in their lives, it's often said that they are taking a leap. And I suppose that's what I'm doing. But at a certain point, I stopped viewing it that way. I had to for my own sanity. Leaping makes me think of jumping off of cliffs or out of airplanes -- two things I have no interest in doing. I wanted to feel like my decision wouldn't result in a concussion or a twisted ankle. Instead, I wanted my decision to feel safe, exciting, and completely doable.

So today, when I hand over my badge, leave the building, and walk to my car, I will not be leaping. I will be taking a step. And each day that follows today, I will take a step. Sometimes it will be a big step, but more often than not, it will be a small step. And with each small step, I will get closer. To what? That is not for me to know right now. And that is a beautiful feeling.

I am leaving amidst questions of "what are you doing next?" and "you really don't have a job lined up?" But I do have a job lined up. It's the one I'm creating and crafting to suit my life, one step at a time.

Sometimes.

You just have to stop.

And put on your most sexy comfortable pajamas.

And sit on your couch.

And stare at your toes.

And eat ice cream.

And think about nothing.

Go ahead. Try it.

I give you permission.

Where can we find happiness?
Happiness is not found in a tranquil life free of storms and tempests.
Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realize our goals,
in our efforts to move forward.

~ Daisaku Ikeda

Has there ever been a time in your life when you knew your life was about to change?

Maybe it was a slow change like a pregnancy when you had a little time to prepare for it. Or maybe it was sudden change like a car accident or winning the lottery. Maybe it was something that you chose to change and maybe it felt like the change happened to you.

In any case, change happens. We can resist it, we can hide from it, but it's going to happen with or without our approval.

On Monday, I chose to make a change. A BIG change. I quit my job.

It feels strange to even write that. It's something I've been thinking about for a while, but have kept relatively quiet about it. At first, I thought the change was happening TO me and was out of my control. I was unhappy in my job and spent a lot of time saying, "If only I had more time, if only I didn't have to do X or that person didn't say Y or I was able to do more of Z." When you're not satisfied with a situation, the natural reaction is to point fingers and place blame. After several months (maybe even a year) of staying with my job even though I was not satisfied, I discovered the right reason to leave the job. It was not the fault of the job or the people I worked with or office politics. The reason I chose to leave my job was because I had outgrown it.

Quitting my job felt a little like a break-up. I almost wanted to say, "It's not you. It's me." It was bittersweet. It was not an easy decision. But it was the right decision for both of us.

So what am I going to do now? What am I going to do with my life?

I used to wince at this question. I was desperate to get to the bottom of it and figure out what would make me happy. Earlier this year, I had a realization that I didn't need to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. But I did know how I wanted my life to feel. I wanted to be creative every day. I wanted time to spend with my family. I wanted energy to take care of myself - cooking healthy meals, doing yoga, taking walks with my hubby. I wanted to feel relaxed, happy, balanced. At the time, I wasn't feeling any of those things.

I had been hearing the whispers from my creative spirit for quite some time, but wasn't sure what to do about it. So I waited. I didn't quit my job out of desperation. I waited. I didn't search for a new job to replace the old one. I waited. I didn't grasp for a creative outlet. I just waited. And when the whispers got louder and pointed me in a direction that made sense and felt good, I stopped waiting and I LEAPT. I leapt towards photography because it was the first time in years that I felt inspired to learn and the first thing in years that I spent hours doing without wanting to stop (sometimes forgetting to eat lunch). It was something I was making time for instead of complaining that I didn't have enough time for. It was something that cheered me up on difficult days. And it changed the way I look at the world. These were all key indications that I was on the right path.

Then I started saying YES to things that scared me because I knew that the fear was an indication of something that excited me. And the more I said YES, the more free I felt. The more "me" I felt. The more joy I felt. And the more doors opened.

When I started considering the idea of quitting my job - without another job lined up - I felt that same kind of fear. The exciting kind. The kind that is an indication that I was doing the right thing. The kind that makes so much sense despite all of the risks.

Minutes before I gave my boss two-weeks notice, I read the following question on Danielle LaPorte's blog:

"What would I do if I were not afraid?"

And I knew what I had to do.

It's only been a couple of days and it hasn't quite sunken in yet, but what I do feel is relief. I've felt like a balloon on the verge of popping for months and finally, I've let the air out. I'm also surprised and pleased with what's coming out of my mouth without hesitation as I tell my coworkers the news, one by one. They ask what I'm going to do next and I tell them that I am going to concentrate my energy on things I'm passionate about and that I'm starting a photography business. I'm also telling them that I don't really know what's next and that's okay. I've never felt MORE okay with not knowing what's going to happen next. It is freeing and exciting. Even more freeing is that I am being true to myself and following my heart wherever it leads me.

So am I nervous? Yes! Do I have doubts? Hell yes! But I am also full of a new energy that I haven't felt in years. I am ready to harness that energy, put it out into the world, and create the life I envision for myself.

But first I need a nap.

***

Jamie Ridler has a fabulous series on her blog called Wishcasting Wednesday. I thought it would be appropriate to share my wish today. This week's prompt is "What do you wish to experience?" And my answer: the freedom and confidence to follow my dreams.

change is in the air

i can see it in the leaves in the trees

i can feel it in the crisp, cool breeze

i feel it deep in my heart

i don't have to look too hard for it

change is right outside my front door

after all, that's where it likes to hang out

Big changes are in the air! But you'll have to wait until next week to hear the details. For now, please take a moment to stop by two of my favorite blogs. I was featured twice this week! Leah over at Leah Creates picked me for her Wonderbug Wednesday, a weekly post where she gives a little "shout out" to an artist or entrepreneur. Also, one of my fall photos was included in an eye candy post over at the wishstudio. See if you can figure out which photo is mine without peeking! (Thanks to my Twitter friend, Sara a.k.a. @SoulSpackle, for that fun idea!) Thanks to Mindy and Leah for including me on their blogs!

Have a lovely weekend, y'all!

I've had a lot on my mind lately and am spending a lot of time figuring out where I belong. I'm strattling two different bloggy worlds at the moment - the world of encouraging women exploring life's challenges and triumphs and the world of photographers sharing the beauty of their every day lives through photographs. I keep asking where I fit in all of this. I am an artist and a dreamer and a writer and a photographer and an emotional mess and a joyful goof. How do I put it all together, tie it up in a nice little bow, and stamp it with ME? How do I pick just one thing when I have all of these other ideas up my sleeve? Or do I need to pick? Why do we feel like we need to be just ONE thing? How can I incorporate all of me into what I do and not be limited by my preconceived notions of who and what I am?

And then I was presented with an answer to all of my questions. Last week, my husband took me to the Earshot Jazz Festival to see the Matt Wilson Quartet. He told me that the leader of the band (a drummer) was wild and crazy, in the best way possible. It sounded like fun, so I went along.

I've been to a lot of jazz shows and I usually know what to expect, but nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see. Matt Wilson uses anything and everything within reach to create music. Yes, he sits at a drum set, but he doesn't let that limit him. He watches and listens to his band mates and does whatever necessary in the moment to create the sound that would fill that moment perfectly. He breaks the rules in order to serve the music and support his band. It's almost as if he's being controlled by something outside of himself and yet, he is more present than any musician I've ever seen. The result is that he shares his journey. You don't know what's going to happen next, but you know that it's going to be magnificent and unexpected. And most important, it will be unique.

Yes, he is a drummer, but he doesn't let that title limit him. He is a musician and an innovator and an artist and a bit of a clown. He found a way to be who he is and you can tell he is having the time of his life.

The moral of the story, my friends, is that whether you are a musician, artist, photographer, writer, blogger, dancer, jump roper, or under-water basket weaver, there is more than one way to skin a cat. Use whatever is within you and around you to create. Do not limit yourself. Open your eyes, look around, and incorporate Your World and Your Self into everything you do. The guaranteed result: magic. And heck, you'll probably have more fun in the process.

Check out this video to see Matt Wilson at his goofiest. I hope it will inspire you to think outside the box.

Yesterday, I mentioned that I was participating in a world-wide photo documentary project called Week of Life. I'm entering the fourth day and I have to tell you, this experience is fun. But after taking a ton of photos from my world (which include glamorous photos of my laundry, dirty dishes, and my cat), I thought it was time to get creative. I looked up from my couch and, camera in hand, walked straight to a little wooden buddha that sits next to our fireplace. I snapped a few shots, but wasn't satisfied. It was night time and a bit dark in the house. When I used my flash, I was disappointed with the cold tone cast on the little guy. Unfortunately, I don't own any fancy lighting equipment, but I wouldn't let that stop me! I whipped around in the hopes that something would appear - something that would help me make this photo cooler. I had just read somewhere about a fun trick to help soften the light from an on-camera flash that involved holding a beer bottle up in front of the flash. Alas, there was no beer in the house. But the next best thing was the blue glass sitting on my coffee table that held the water I'd been drinking. The following photos are the result of my little experiment...which reminds me of a little joke:

What do you get when you cross a glass of water, a camera, and the buddha?

So pick up that camera and a pretty glass and do some experimenting this week! You'd be amazed at how much fun you'll have when you think outside the box and allow your limitations to be an opportunity.

Happy snapping!

• My husband had his CD Release Party on Saturday night for his new album "No More, No Less" and performed in front of a packed house. Whenever I see him perform, I am inspired and feel myself falling for him all over again. He's kind of dreamy. Click this link to learn how you can get your hands on his CD and to view the cover art, done by yours truly.
• Inspired by the website, Week of Life, I'm photographing my life for seven days. The basic premise is that you photograph your life for a week and then post nine photos from each day on the Week of Life site. People from all over the world are doing it! It's almost like Slice of Life Tuesday on steroids! At first, I wasn't quite sure what to photograph. My life hasn't been the most exciting lately. But I find myself running for my camera at odd moments - like while doing laundry or washing the dishes. You'd be amazed how different life looks when you've got a camera in your hand 24/7!

can you believe i photographed these in my back yard???

• I'm loving fall. This time of year makes me want to curl up on the couch with a cup of hot tea and a good book. It also makes me want to go shopping for cute and cuddly fall things.
• Speaking of falling, I'm completely falling for all of the photography inspiration out there. Two of my favorite photographer/bloggers are Georgia B. of it's just how i see things and Alicia from be a photograph. I'm completely smitten with their recent odes to autumn here and here. Just one look and you'll want to jump in a pile of leaves or pour yourself a cup of hot apple cider.
• I'm so excited that Connie from Dirty Footprints Studio is back from her bloggy break. She's posted a brand new video on her blog today! Is it just me, or does she seem to be glowing? Sometimes a break is just what you need to regain energy and inspiration. 
• How to Give Yourself to Whatever the Moment Brings, and Forget Stress - a must-read from Zen Habits. Seriously, you must read it. Go. There. Now.
• I'm LOVING these adorable, mini, do-it-yourself calendars featured on Shutter Sisters.
• And finally, I'll leave you with this TED video by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love.

It's your turn! Where have you found inspiration lately?