slice of life tuesday: the way out is through

Slice of Life Tuesday is a place to share photos that were taken in the previous week and that capture ordinary moments in extraordinary ways. Every Tuesday, I will post a photo from my daily life and ask for you to do the same. It is sometimes difficult to make time for creativity, but this is a simple and low-key way for all of us to take a moment out of our daily lives for ourselves. Even if you take only one photo the previous week, you've done something for yourself. Don't have a camera handy when you need it? Cell phone photos are welcome here! The photos don't have to be perfect. They don't have to be pretty. They just have to be.

sunset at shilshole bay, seattle; photographed with Nikon D40

The way out is through. ~ Pema Chodron

One word to describe my weekend: calm. While attending Pema Chodron's talks, I found myself grateful for the time to sit still without anywhere else I needed to be. We were asked to maintain silence while in the auditorium. When we were first informed of this, I felt myself panic. Silence? What if I need something? What if I want to ask Jason a question? What if I get sick and need to ask for help? After I came to my senses, I realized that it was actually an opportunity to just stop. Stop talking, stop checking email and voicemail, and slow down the rat race that my brain tends to be on at any given moment.

Surrounded by almost 1000 other people in attendance, I was overwhelmed with a sense of community, a sense that we are all in this messy, joyful, crazy life together. We think that we are alone in our questions and fears, our hopes and doubts. But looking around, I saw myself in every face in the room. What are we all searching for? The short answer is happiness. We all just want to be happy. We are searching for the key that will solve this mystery we've created for ourselves - that will open the door to the things we think we want. Pema spent a lot of time this weekend, talking about the struggles we create because of what we "want" and "don't want." We want what we don't have and we don't want what we do have. We spend our lives wishing things were different in some way. We want to be thinner, have a better job, find a boyfriend, be a better painter/writer/golfer/singer. We don't want to go to work, to talk to that demanding person, to answer that call, to grow old, to make dinner again, to do laundry again, wash the dishes again. You get the picture.

To stay present in life and appreciate what we DO have takes practice. It takes courage to stop that cycle of "want" and "don't want" and to say to ourselves, "I have everything I need at this moment." The more we say this to ourselves, the more we'll start believing it and...wait for it...the happier we'll be!

Would you like to catch up on past Slice of Life Tuesday installments? Check 'em out here.

a weekend with pema

I am currently gearing up to spend the weekend with Pema Chodron. I'd like to think that she and I will just be hanging out, sipping tea, giggling about life, maybe doing a little shoe shopping. But I will be surrounded by hundreds of her admirers and followers. She is holding a series of talks all weekend in Seattle, focusing on her book "No Time to Lose".

I discovered Pema about a year and a half ago, early on in my relationship with Jason, my fiance. Her books have been a wonderfully positive way to better understand ourselves and each other and to grow our relationship. I'd invite her to the wedding if I could.

Pema is an American who became a Buddhist nun. Her books are down-to-earth, sensitive, and often funny. She provides tangible ways to experience life and welcome uncertainty. When I read her books, I sometimes feel like she's holding up a mirror to my soul and have at times found myself talking back to the book, saying, "I know, Pema, I know." She calls me out on my habits all the time. But at least she does so gently and with a sense of humor.

I do hope you'll check out some of her books. I think you'll find them to be inspiring and comforting at the same time. My favorites are "Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living"and "Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion".

I will have limited time in front of a computer the next few days, but will report back next week to let you know how it went. I really don't know what to expect, but I am thrilled to have this opportunity and don't think it could have come at a better time.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with a few quotes from Pema that are speaking to me right now.

Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.

      From the book, "When Things Fall Apart"

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.

      From the book, "The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness"

We can drop the fundamental hope that there is a better "me" who one day will emerge. We can't just jump over ourselves as if we were not there.

      From the book, "When Things Fall Apart"

the big squeeze

I created this blog to share the ups and downs of being a creative person on a search for a creative outlet. At its essence, this blog is about getting started and taking small steps.

Much MUCH easier said than done.

Recently, I've felt very inspired. I have been carrying my camera with me everywhere I go, meeting like-minded creative folks on Twitter, and reading many of those Twitter friends' amazing blogs. I feel the momentum and am enjoying the ride. Finally, I have some clarity about what I really want!

But I've had a hard couple of weeks. My stress level is high and life has gotten busy (with no end in sight.) The busier I get, the more excuses I make for not tending to myself. The main excuse I use is "not enough time." Are you familiar with that one?

In times like these, I typically get overwhelmed and exhausted by it all. It's very easy to just say, "Oh, well. Maybe I'll wait until I have more time." But I know better than that. I've learned the hard way that days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. Been there. Done that.

So here's the thing. I have a full-time job that gets busy over the summer and a wedding in September. I returned to yoga recently and started running (and by running I mean walking with short bursts of running once in a while, but I now like to call myself a "runner.") There's a lot going on, but at the same time I hear the loud whispers of my heart saying, "Hey, what about us? Take care of us!" My creativity is just screaming to get out, but life is saying, "Wait. Slow down. Be patient. One thing at a time."

Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun who helps people apply Buddhist teachings to their everyday lives, talks about this push/pull in many of her books. She calls it "the big squeeze" and points out that the times in our lives that feel the most exhausting/frustrating/painful/confusing/etc. are the times to open up, allow life to unfold, and to be patient. In her book, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living, Chodron writes:

Patience is not learned in safety. It is not learned when everything is harmonious and going well. When everything is smooth sailing, who needs patience? If you stay in your room with the door locked and the curtains drawn, everything may seem harmonious, but the minute anything doesn't go your way, you blow up. There is no cultivation of patience when your pattern is to just try to seek harmony and smooth everything out. Patience implies willingness to be alive rather than trying to seek harmony.

So I guess that part of getting started - or perhaps the MAIN part of getting started - is being patient. Change does not happen overnight. It takes small steps, loads of patience, and sometimes - even when you want desperately to speed up the process - it means slowing down.

That's where I am today. I'd like to fast forward to living my life as an artist and to everything on my "wouldn't it be cool" list. But I suppose that in order to get there, I have to experience this exact moment. And perhaps if I remind myself of that once in a while, I will be less focused on where I want to go and more focused on where I am now.

In her recent post, Molly Gordon wrote:

On the one hand, thought has the power to bridge current reality and a dreamed-for outcome. Our experience of the world is created by the thoughts we believe. But wishful thinking, by definition, keeps us and what we wish for separate. The wish is always a distant dream. The harder we wish, the more we resist (and even resent) current reality.

That one is hard to swallow. But I get it. Focusing on the distant dream will only exhaust me and cause me to spin my wheels. But if I take it a day at a time, find moments of bliss, and remember to breathe, before I know it the distant dream will be right at my door step.